Five Stories
by LuKEN
Summary: A preseason 1 take. Five alternatives on how things could have been, some AU.
1. Substructure

Title: Five Stories

Summary: A take on pre-season 1. Five alternatives on how things could have been, some AU.

Disclaimer: I don't own _24 _or any of its characters, this is a work of fan fiction, I don't make any money with it.

Author's note: The first chapter serves as the substructure, the point of departure for each of the five following stories. To avoid confusion I recommend reading the first chapter again with each alternative.

* * *

**Five realizations**

* * *

Jack stirred, fighting the process of waking up. _Not yet. _He didn't want to wake up. Things were good as they were, he was good as he was. Why couldn't he just sleep a little longer? But his brain had decided otherwise and was already way too active for him to ignore it. _Too late. I'm awake._ Refusing to open his eyes yet though, he slowly turned a bit, reaching for the other side of the bed and the warmth and comfort of the body lying next to him. _Nina…_

Abruptly opening his eyes, almost sitting up in bed, he realized two things. Number one, he was alone. Number two… - he had thought of Nina.

The first realization wasn't that shocking. It wasn't the first time he woke up alone. And being fully awake now, he remembered he had been working overtime the entire week and been so exhausted last night he had literally been asleep before his head had hit the pillow. Squinting against the bright sunlight that fell in through the window, hearing voices and noises from outside, he had to assume that he had slept the entire night plus half of the day. It was Sunday, and apparently a particularly nice one. No wonder he was the only one still in bed.

The second realization took him a bit longer to digest. _Nina. _It hadn't been the first time he had thought of her either. He grinned to himself for a second. Certainly not the first time he had thought of her in bed. But he had thought of her the moment between sleep and awakening, the moment he had reached for the person lying next to him, or who he'd thought was lying next to him. He pondered the implications. _It's really not that hard, Jack_, he mocked himself. He had thought of her because she was the person he had wanted to be lying next to him. _Wow, Jack, you're fast today, _he noticed once more mockingly but then turned serious again. _It used to be Teri._ It had always been Teri. From the day he had met her, through all the years of marriage, until… _Until today._ Until this morning.

He sank back onto the sheets, letting his head drop back onto the pillow, staring at the ceiling. What was different this morning? What had changed since yesterday? It wasn't the first time he had woken up and wanted Nina to be there, but usually only when he was already awake enough to know…no, to decide what he wanted. This was different. He hadn't been awake enough to decide anything. Or know anything for that matter. He hadn't even been awake enough to remember where he was, why he was there, what day it was…dammit, he hadn't even been awake enough to remember who he was.

But he had known that he wanted to be with her. He swallowed. And not with Teri.

He sighed, closing his eyes and tilting his head further back into the softness of the pillow. And it was that moment that another realization hit him.

_Coffee. _

It was the smell of coffee that had woken him up. And while he already counted his third major insight – not bad considering he hadn't been awake that long – the smell seemed to increase in its intensity. He closed his eyes once again.

He heard her footsteps when she was still in the hallway and counted in his mind. He would have been able to tell the exact moment she entered the bedroom, even if the smell of fresh coffee and the sound when she opened the door a bit wider hadn't given her away. He could feel her eyes on him as she seemed to check if he was really still asleep, but he kept his eyes closed, sensing her coming a bit closer and then sitting down on the bedside, probably trying to determine whether she should wake him up or let him sleep.

_Nina_, he kept thinking behind his closed eyelids. _Not Teri. _And he couldn't help but feel guilt and sadness washing over him, although neither showed on his face. Did this mean his marriage was over? Ultimately, definitely, inevitably over? Was this the way it ended? Was this the way his family 'ended'? Just broke up? What would Kim say? What could he say, how could he explain? And Teri…

He could still feel her sitting there, watching him in his fake sleep, imagine the expression on her face. The slight frown that was probably there, because she wondered how he could sleep this long, how he could be this exhausted from work, thinking they needed to get away for a while. She had said something about going somewhere for a few days, over the weekend, but he hadn't really said anything in return. He had felt he needed to figure things out first. Things he couldn't talk to her about. Things he couldn't tell her without hurting her. And he didn't want to hurt her. He didn't want to hurt anyone. If he could find a way to fix things without hurting anyone…but he couldn't. There wasn't.

He felt something touching his forehead, her hand gently stroking a stray of hairs away. He still didn't move. He wasn't ready yet. He wasn't ready to open his eyes yet because if he did, and looked at her, and if she was looking back, then everything he had felt and thought this morning, especially the very first thing he had felt this morning, would be irrevocably true.

He couldn't help taking a somewhat deeper breath at this – he counted fourth – realization. But apparently she thought he was just stirring in his sleep. He felt her hand retreating from his hair, sensed her eyes resting on him for a last long look, and he thought he could actually hear her smile a little bit. And again he knew exactly what her face would look like. If he opened his eyes right now, he knew what he would see.

He felt her weight being lifted from the bedside as she moved to get up and leave, and it was then that his fifth realization hit him. It was time to face the truth. Or at least, now was as good a time as any.


	2. story 1

**Story #1**

* * *

He felt her weight being lifted from the bedside as she moved to get up and leave, and it was then that his fifth realization hit him. It was time to face the truth. Or at least, now was as good a time as any.

"Don't you dare take that coffee anywhere," he growled, reaching for her wrist.

Her head span around and glancing at his hand for a second before looking into his face Nina sat back down again.

"You're awake," she stated the obvious. "Faker."

"Sorry," he muttered, still holding on to her wrist. She looked exactly like he had imagined a minute ago. Her hair still a bit messy, her eyes sparkling, her face beaming.

"No need to apologize," she declared, shifting the coffee mug to her other hand to let her fingers intertwine with his. "You slept alright?"

"Like a stone. What time is it?"

"Around noon?" Her smile widened as she looked down on their hands.

"How long have you been up?"

"Couple of hours."

"And you're still in your pajamas?" he teased her.

"I've been reading, going through the mail," she explained, her fingers playing with his. "Besides," she looked up to meet his gaze again, "I didn't want to wake you by running the shower."

He grinned, enclosing her hand in his and pulling her towards him. "I see."

"Hey," she objected playfully. "You don't want your coffee?"

"I do. But there's something else I want first."

She let him pull her closer, placing the mug on the nightstand, and he quickly maneuvered her back into bed. Lying next to him again, she looked up into his face while he took his turn in stroking one of her dark strands out of her face.

"God, you're beautiful," he sighed, causing her to blink in surprise and then frown a little at him. "What?" he asked. "It's not like you don't know it."

She eyed him somewhat skeptically.

"It's not like I never told you before," he added, letting his hand run down her cheek.

"No," she agreed hesitantly, lowering her gaze and reaching for his hand again.

"Then what?" he insisted, withdrawing his hand to regain her full attention.

"I don't know," she shrugged, meeting his eyes again.

They examined each other's expression for a moment.

"Are you okay?" she asked then, still frowning a bit.

"Yes," he assured with a smile. "Why shouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. Something seems different," she shrugged once more. "You seem so…"

She didn't finish the sentence, but he started to understand where she was getting at. And why she was hesitating to bring it up. It was one of the things they had never talked about, a subject too delicate to touch upon.

"I seem what?" He knew he could make this a lot easier by just telling her that something was indeed different, that something had changed. But he couldn't bring himself to say it. He didn't know how.

"Come on, Jack," she exclaimed, their eyes still locked. "You never seemed that comfortable in the morning."

It was true. He didn't. Because he usually woke up realizing that it wasn't his wife lying next to him. Because he usually woke up to the feeling of guilt. And knowing that Nina could sense what was going on, he usually felt even more guilt, although she had made it clear from the beginning that he shouldn't.

"I know," he sighed, avoiding her gaze for a moment and backing off a little, struggling to find the right words. But Nina obviously misread his body language.

"Look, I'm not complaining," she remarked, and when he looked up again she wasn't meeting his eyes anymore either. "I'm just…" She shook her head. "I shouldn't have brought it up," she said, attempting to move away from him. "Let's just forget about it."

"No," he objected, reaching for her shoulder to stop her. "No, let's not forget about it."

She stared at him, confusion written all over her face.

"You're right," he mumbled, wondering why this was so hard. "I've never been that comfortable in the morning and we both know why. And I'm sorry, I really am."

She opened her mouth to say something but he signaled her to let him finish.

"Not for the way I felt because…there's nothing I could have done to change that. But I'm sorry that I let _you_ feel it." It hadn't been fair to her. "However, as you pointed out, something's different." He took a deep breath. He'd only done this once before, and it was such a long time ago. _I guess not everything gets easier with age_, he thought to himself. "I don't know why it hit me today of all days…but I love you."

She still just stared at him, her face not giving away yet how she felt at his sudden confession.

"Maybe I wasn't ready for it sooner," he continued, once again fumbling for her hand. "But I am now."

A few seconds passed before she found her speech back.

"What about Teri?" she asked in a whisper. "What about your family?"

He sighed. "I love them too." He did. Just… It didn't seem enough anymore. "It's why I can't pretend that it will work out."

He noticed that the frown was gone from her face but she still eyed him with such seriousness. As if he wasn't aware enough of the magnitude of the moment…

"I've known Teri all my life. Or at least it feels that way. She's my wife, she's been with me all these years, and she'll always be the mother of our daughter. But…our marriage…it's not working anymore. I can't make it work. I can't give her what she needs."

He sighed again when Nina cast her eyes down. He knew it wasn't the smartest move to keep talking about his feelings for Teri when all he wanted was to tell Nina that he wanted to be with her, but he needed her to understand. After all, she was the only one who did. She understood him. She knew him. He had always thought Teri was the one to know him better than he knew himself. But he had been wrong. There was so much Teri didn't understand, couldn't really, it wasn't her fault in any way. But Nina could. Did. It was why he needed her, why he loved her.

"Look, what I'm trying to say is – a part of me will always love her. I know I probably shouldn't tell you this but it's not like I can hide anything from you, can I?"

She just made a helpless gesture, signaling she didn't know what to say or think of all this. He shook his head. He was horrible at this.

"I love you, Nina. That's what I'm trying to say, actually. I love you and I want to be with you. And it won't do anyone any good if I keep ignoring that fact. It won't help Teri or Kim if I pretend that I could fix my marriage. And it certainly won't help us if I pretend that this is not what I really want."

"Us?" she asked hoarsely.

He stared into the green of her eyes, suddenly panicking that this might not be enough either. What if it wasn't enough that he needed her? She certainly didn't need him. What for? And did she love him? He thought so but…why wasn't she happier then? Why did she look so serious?

_Because you just gave her a long speech about how you still love your wife. _No wonder she wasn't thrilled. She had to feel like his second choice. Like the next best thing.

_Alright, _he ordered himself, _let's get this out right this time._

"I need you, Nina. I thought I needed my family, I thought I couldn't be without them, but…it's not true. I need you." He shrugged. "That's all. I need just you."

She sighed heavily, and finally there were some emotions visible in her face.

"Are you sure?" she whispered, so quietly it could barely be heard, seeming so vulnerable all of a sudden it threatened to tear him apart.

"Yes," he whispered his reply, pulling her closer to him, and when he felt the slight tremor of relief running through her body he knew it all the more. "Yes, I'm sure."


	3. story 2

**Story # 2**

* * *

He felt her weight being lifted from the bedside as she moved to get up and leave, and it was then that his fifth realization hit him. It was time to face the truth. Or at least, now was as good a time as any.

"Teri," he said, opening his eyes and reaching out to stop her.

She turned to look at him, probably wondering if he had really just woken up or if he had been awake the entire time she had been in the room.

"You're awake," she just stated then, maybe deciding it didn't matter, maybe deciding it was better not to know. Like she seemed to do so often these days. _There was a time she would have said something_, he thought to himself. When she would have been angry or irritated or when she at least would have asked him. But now… It was the little things she seemed to avoid. As if every question, every demand for clarification could be a trap, a trigger for another argument. As if she was constantly walking bare-footed in a room with broken glass shattered on the floor, careful not to make a wrong step. When had things become this…when had they become like this?

The first days back home had been different. The exact opposite, actually. They had fallen back into old routines, certain things had come naturally. But at the same time they had seen each other with different eyes. Watched each other closely, analyzed every move, every gesture, every frown, always on the lookout for signs of discomfort, worried to overlook something that was important. They had tried so hard, to talk, to be sensitive to each other's needs. But the talking had led them to discussions, the discussions to arguments, and in the end silence had fallen between them again. Just like before the separation. So that was why Teri was acting the way she was now. Afraid their oversensitivity would break them up again she had decided to focus on the big issues again and avoid anything else. Or so it seemed. But wasn't that avoiding him? Avoiding them?

"What time is it?" he ended the silence.

"Around noon. You came in late last night," she stated, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice but he could still tell she wasn't happy about it. "Something big going on at work?"

"Just the usual," he replied, realizing too late how this wasn't helping. "It's always a bit crazy this time of the year." _Right. _Damage control. Or an attempt thereof.

"Kim's barely seen you all week," she pointed out.

"I know." What was he supposed to do? He wasn't a clerk, he couldn't punch out in time every night. He couldn't tell Chappelle to get someone else to work overtime. If she wanted a husband who was home at six sharp, right in time for the family dinner, she should have married someone else.

No, that wasn't fair. She hadn't signed up for this. They had been a couple long before either one of them could have foreseen what the future was holding for him. She had accepted every change, every step of the way, but she had never asked for it.

"Look, I don't wanna be on your back about this all the time, Jack," she sighed, sounding a bit apologetic, "but you said you were gonna cut back."

"I know."

"You said things were gonna be different. But look at us, look at you. You're tired when you get home, you're exhausted, your daughter barely remembers what you look like when you're not –"

"Oh, come on, Teri," he cut her off, trying not to raise his voice though. Why did she have to drag Kim into this every single time. "Kim's hardly the only kid her age with a father who's working a lot."

Teri glared at him for a second but then looked away, obviously trying to stay calm as well.

"No. She's not the only kid her age whose parents separated either. If that's how you wanna look at it, Jack –"

"That's not what I meant," he interjected, but stopped himself before he could work himself up about this. He sat up and raised a hand in a gesture that was supposed to calm her down. To calm them both down. "I know I promised to cut down on my hours. And I'm trying. It's just right now there's a lot going on."

"When isn't there, Jack?" Teri countered with a sad expression, and he didn't know what to reply.

"I made breakfast," she said after a while, taking the coffee she had been holding on to all the time with her as she got up and left. "I'll be in the kitchen."

He lowered his gaze and stared at the sheets in front of him. It always came down to this. To him trying, to Teri forcing herself to be patient but never being happy, to him never giving her a reason to be happy, to them sitting and staring at the wall, the ceiling, or the sheets.

He closed his eyes and could hear her walking through the hallway, hear the clatter of dishes once she was back in the kitchen, and the sound of the radio being switched on. The fact that it hadn't been on before told him that Kim wasn't home or still asleep in her room. _Kim. _He knew he wasn't there for her as much as he should, as much as he wanted to be, and it was why he hated it when Teri brought it up again and again. Because it meant more guilt on his shoulders, more reasons to feel like crap. About the promises he had made, about the promises he deep down knew he couldn't keep. She was right, there was always a lot going on. There was no way to cut back on his hours, no way to be home at a reasonable time every night, no way to come home and tell his family about his day at work. There just wasn't. It had been stupid to give her the impression there was.

He had tried to compromise, he really had. He had left the military, he had transferred to CTU. He had taken the stupid desk job as head of the office that kept him away from the field. Nothing had ever been good enough, nothing had helped to make things better. The only thing left now was to quit. But where would that leave him? What was he supposed to do? Work for a security company, as a consultant? Sure, he could find a way to make enough money to support his family. And maybe Teri would be happier. Maybe even Kim would be happier, although he had his doubts about that. She didn't seem to care as much as Teri let on. She was a teenager. She didn't need him to hold her hand. And what about him? Wasn't he entitled to stick with the one thing he was good at? He obviously wasn't great as a father or a husband. What guarantee did he have that things would work out even if he quit CTU? What guarantee did he have that things wouldn't go to hell anyway? And what then?

He had been at this point before, asking himself the exact same questions. During and before their separation. Teri had never asked him to but it had always been clear that she would love nothing more than for him to give up his work. She blamed most of what went wrong in their marriage on his work. That work of his that made him pushing her away, made him shutting her out, made him someone other than the person she had married. He couldn't blame her but he couldn't give in on this either. Regardless of what Teri believed, he knew that quitting his work wouldn't make him the person she wanted him to be either. He would get bitter and frustrated, but he certainly wouldn't be a better man. No, it was the one thing he couldn't do, had never been willing to do. Not even for her.

He got up to make his way to the bathroom but stopped in the middle of the room, still hearing Teri in the kitchen. What was he doing? He couldn't put things off any longer. It wasn't doing them any good, and how could he keep pretending this was going to work out after what he had discovered this morning? How could he go on like this just one more day when he knew now what he really wanted?

_Nina. _Leaving her had been… It had torn him apart. The guilt. _Always guilt. _The pain. Knowing he had hurt her. She had done her best to conceal it from him, been understanding and even sympathetic. But he hadn't believed it for one second. He knew her. He knew her too well to be deluded by the act she had kept up, knew her too well not to recognize when she was hurting. Too well not to know that it was worst when she didn't let it show. He had almost wished for her to cry or yell at him, curse him or even hit him. It would have been easier than watching her pretend she was fine with it. But he had thought it was for the best. He had thought he owed it to Teri and Kim to try and work things out. He had thought Nina wasn't more than a replacement for Teri anyway. He had thought he was just using her. _And we're back to guilt. _But he had been wrong.

He had missed her. Since the day he had told her he was going back to Teri, since the day he had told her it was over. He hadn't admitted it to himself but he had missed her. He had seen her at work every day, of course, but it hadn't been the same. They had pretended everything was just as it used to be, that nothing had happened, to keep people from gossiping if for no other reason. But nothing had been as it used to be. He had missed the looks they used to exchange, the blind understanding without words, the ease and the comfort they had always felt around each other. The 'affair' had changed all that. But he had missed her even beyond all that. He had missed her outside the office, missed coming home to someone who knew what he was going through every single day, knew when to make him talk about it and when to let it go. And although he would never have allowed himself to admit it, he had even missed her in the most intimate way. To touch her, to feel her, to run his fingers through her hair… He missed being alone with her, missed lying next to her and feeling the warmth of her body, the touch of her skin against his, the look on her face when she was huddled against him. God, he missed her.

He took a deep breath and walked out of the bedroom, through the hallway and into the kitchen. There would be more guilt, more hurting caused by him. But there was no other way. Someone would get hurt, no matter what he did. When Teri had asked him to move back in, all this time he had tried so hard to do the right thing, to make things right, to make things work. But how could it ever be right when there was no way for it to work, when he knew he wasn't able or willing to give Teri what she wanted, and when he knew this wasn't what he wanted anymore.

She was standing by the sink, pressing fresh orange juice. He took another deep breath before he spoke.

"Teri."

She turned around. "Yes, Jack?"

"We need to talk."


	4. story 3

**Story # 3**

* * *

He felt her weight being lifted from the bedside as she moved to get up and leave, and it was then that his fifth realization hit him. It was time to face the truth. Or at least, now was as good a time as any.

"Is that coffee for me or are you going to drink it all by yourself?"

Turning back to him, Nina gave him a surprised look before she sat down again.

"I thought you were asleep," she remarked, raising her eyebrow, but he ignored it, propping himself up on his elbows and waiting for her to lean in.

"Good morning," he whispered before kissing her.

"Good morning," she said in return, running her fingers through his hair once again, just like she had done before when she had thought he was still asleep.

"So how many hours of this beautiful day have I missed?"

"Someone's in a particularly good mood," she mocked. "It's almost noon."

"Well, that still leaves us with all afternoon and - I don't have any plans for tonight," he grinned.

"Really?" she said teasingly. "But what if I do?"

"What plans would that be?"

"Maybe I have to work?"

"I don't think your boss would be that mean," he played along. "It's Sunday."

"Maybe you don't know him that well then. I think he's perfectly capable of it."

"Really?" He took the coffee mug from her hand to place it on the nightstand. "Then tell me, what else do you think he's capable of?"

But she didn't say anything else. Instead she leaned closer to kiss him again while her hands fumbled with the hem of his shirt.

God, he loved her. Needed her. Being with her felt so good. He couldn't imagine another day without feeling so… _I can't even remember the last time I felt that way with Teri. _

He stopped tearing at her top. _Right. _Teri.

Nina pulled back a little, noticing his hesitance.

"What? Not capable of pulling my shirt over my head?" she teased in that tone that made him want to… But not now. He needed to tell her.

"Nina," he said in a serious voice and she pulled back even more, sitting up again and looking at him expectantly.

"What is it?"

"I…" He had to lower his gaze for a second. "I realized something this morning."

_Just say it, _he encouraged himself. _Don't make a big deal out of it. Just tell her. _

He looked up again and noticed the pensive expression on her face, the hint of a frown on her forehead. _And tell her before she gets the wrong idea_, he added in his mind.

"Look, I know we've been a bit in a limbo here. Or I've been. But –"

"Jack, before you say anything," she cut him off. "There's something I meant to talk to you about too."

He frowned at her sudden interception. As if it wasn't hard enough…

"Alright. You go first." _But this better be important_.

She took a moment to look down at her hands before she started speaking.

"Someone's been calling me."

His frown deepened. _What? _"Who?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "They hung up."

_So? _

"But I got a feeling…" She hesitated. "Is it possible that…does Teri know about us?"

Jack felt his jaw dropping.

"Or Kim?" she added.

"No," he stated confused. "No." How should they? "What makes you think that it was one of them?"

"I don't know," she repeated. "It's just a feeling. Call it female intuition," she rolled her eyes. "But, Jack, it was definitely not someone who had dialed the wrong number."

"Alright," he nodded. "But there are still a thousand other possibilities."

"True," she admitted, "but…remember that one time I answered your cell?"

"Nina, we were in my office, I asked you to answer for me, it was completely innocent," he dismissed her question. "We weren't even…seeing each other back then."

"Yeah, I know that, Jack. But do you think Kim saw it that way? It was after you had moved out, and you told me yourself that you thought she's been acting weird lately."

He sat up and rubbed his temples. She had a point. Kim had indeed acted a bit strange. One moment she had been sweet and nice, and the next she had been so distant and cold. But wasn't that a normal reaction for a kid in her situation?

"She's a teenager whose parents are separated. I think everybody would act a bit weird in her place."

Nina didn't object but the look on her face wasn't leaving any doubts that he hadn't convinced her. He reconsidered.

It was true that he had noticed Kim's behavior. She had never said anything or asked him directly if he was seeing someone, but there were times when she called a lot. Almost as if she was checking up on him? _No. She's just missing her dad. _Or so he wanted to think. But she had never called that much when he had still been living at home. _Well, she didn't have to, did she? _She had seen him on a daily basis. No need to call. But still, Nina had made him think. And the more he thought about it… Kim had insisted on seeing his apartment and right away commented on how the place didn't look like he spent a lot of time there. He had told her he was working a lot but…had she bought it? He couldn't remember her reply or if she had given one at all.

"Okay, so, let's say Kim is suspicious and wonders if I'm seeing anyone. Just because you answered my cell once she automatically draws the conclusion that it's you?"

Nina just shrugged her shoulders.

_If she did, then what's keeping Teri from making the same conclusion?_ another thought suddenly crossed his mind. Just because neither of them had ever brought it up didn't mean they weren't wondering or having their theories. What a mess!

"I know it's a long shot, Jack," Nina sighed. "I just thought you should know that they might know. Or at least have their suspicions."

Jack ran a hand through his hair, breathing out sharply.

"How would she get your number?"

Nina smirked at him. "Oh, come on, it's a regular line. I'm listed."

Like he didn't know. He was just buying time. Time to think about it, time to figure out how to deal with this. What was he supposed to do? If it was true, he had to do something. He had to talk to Kim. But if it wasn't he would only make things worse. Worse than they already were for her.

"I just thought you should know," Nina repeated, making a helpless gesture. "I might be completely off here, but she's your daughter, Jack."

He stared at her. She was right, of course. No matter how things were between him and Teri or how they would be in the future, Kim would always be his daughter. And he loved her. He didn't want to hurt her. Not more than he already had, anyway.

"What should I do?" he mumbled, more to himself than to Nina who shook her head and gave him a sympathetic look.

"I don't know. Talk to her. Find out what she thinks."

"I'm not going to interrogate my own daughter," he objected.

"I didn't mean it that way," she replied apologetic. "I meant find out how she feels about all this. If she's okay. If she's coping." She seemed to hesitate a second. "Find out what she wants."

He cast his eyes down. _What she wants?_ She would want him to move back home, of course. She would want them to be a family again.

"Just talk to her, Jack."

"Yeah," he muttered faintly. Yeah, he would have to talk to her. But he also knew that talking alone wouldn't get them anywhere. No matter if Kim knew or suspected something, no matter what she told him or chose to hide from him – he already knew what she would want him to do. Deep down he knew what the right thing to do was if he wanted to keep his daughter from getting hurt even more than she already had been. He closed his eyes for a moment, still not looking at Nina, afraid she would be able to read exactly what was going through his mind.

"So, what did you wanna talk to me about?" she snapped him out of his thoughts.

"What?"

"You wanted to tell me something."

He blinked, insecure for a moment. Then he shook his head.

"No, it's…I was just…you wanna go somewhere and have breakfast?"


	5. story 3 2

**Story # 3.2**

* * *

She lifted herself up, ready to move and leave, when she felt his hand touching her forearm.

"Is that coffee for me or are you going to drink it all by yourself?"

She turned back to him. So he had been awake. Why had he pretended otherwise?

"I thought you were asleep," she tried to call him on it, but he dismissed it.

"Good morning," he mumbled, kissing her instead.

"Good morning," she said as well, running her fingers through his hair again, just like she had done before, reassuring herself that he was really there.

"So how many hours of this beautiful day have I missed?" he asked, smiling at her like a child that had just received its Christmas present.

"Someone's in a particularly good mood," she noticed. "It's almost noon."

"Well, that still leaves us with all afternoon and - I don't have any plans for tonight."

"Really?" she teased him, the grin on his face not being lost on her. "But what if I do?"

"What plans would that be?"

"Maybe I have to work?"

"I don't think your boss would be that mean," he went along with her their little game. "It's Sunday."

"Maybe you don't know him that well then," she couldn't stop herself from saying. "I think he's perfectly capable of it."

"Really?" it was his turn to ask, taking the coffee from her to place it somewhere safe. "Then tell me, what else do you think he's capable of?"

She smiled. She probably knew that better than he did. But deciding that enough had been said she started pulling on his shirt and kissed him. She could think of better things to do than talk right now.

He kissed her back and soon his hands were pulling at her top as well, and she was just about to move into a more comfortable position when she suddenly felt him hesitating.

"What? Not capable of pulling my shirt over my head?" she mocked, but then she saw the expression in his face. Something was wrong. Or maybe not wrong but bothering him. She backed off a little.

"Nina…"

He sounded so serious all of a sudden, enough to make her sit back and bring some distance between them. "What is it?"

"I…I realized something this morning," he stammered, and she didn't fail to notice that he avoided her gaze for a moment. So this really was serious. And in the back of her head an alarm went off although she couldn't figure out yet why.

"Look, I know we've been a bit in a limbo here," he started, and she instantly knew why she was on alert. _Don't go there, Jack_, she pleaded inwardly, knowing though that it was in vain. She could see it in his eyes, and thinking about it, she had noticed it when he had first looked at her and smiled, a little wider than usually.

"Or I've been," he continued, and she knew she had to stop him. Maybe she was wrong and this was not what she was afraid it was, but she couldn't take the risk. It would ruin everything. "But –"

"Jack, before you say anything," she interrupted, suppressing a feeling of panic because she hadn't planned for this. Not in detail. She hadn't thought things had come this far. "There's something I meant to talk to you about too," she stalled, having no idea how to make this go away. She just knew she couldn't have this conversation with him. Not if she was right, not if he was about to tell her that he didn't want to go back to his family again. Not even if a part of her would like to hear it? _No_, she told herself. _Don't jeopardize this. _

He frowned, obviously not happy about her cutting him off, and knowing he wasn't a master in expressing his feelings she could understand why. Which only proved her right concerning his intentions.

"Alright. You go first," he sighed however, always the gentleman, of course.

She nodded and then looked down at her hands, stalling some more to come up with something like a plan. _His family. Use his family. _It was his Achilles' heel, his weak spot. It didn't take a mind-reader to know he felt guilty for being with her instead of Teri and Kim, and she had always been convinced he would go back as soon as Teri asked him too, had never even considered that he would choose her over them. That had been the plan, after all. Or part of it. As far as any of this was just a plan. But lately, there had been some signs. Nothing she could have put her finger on, small things, subtle things. She hadn't even been sure. But now it seemed she had been all too right. She should have been prepared for this.

"Someone's been calling me," she stated, literally making the words up as she said them.

"Who?"

"I don't know," she sighed, acting like she wasn't sure if she should even mention it, buying herself some more time. Every second could help her now. "They hung up." _So far so good_. "But I got a feeling…" Yes, this could be getting her somewhere. "Is it possible that…does Teri know about us?" _No, not Teri. _She could maybe get Jack to believe that his wife was insecure or suspicious but not that she was as immature as to call and then hang up. Judging by the little she knew from Jack, Teri seemed rather the type who would confront her. So, not Teri. "Or Kim?" she added quickly to correct her mistake.

"No," Jack exclaimed, puzzlement and shock obvious in his face. _Careful now. You have to sell it to him._

"No," he repeated. "What makes you think that it was one of them?"

"I don't know." Did she need a good reason? It would be more convincing but she couldn't come up with anything. "It's just a feeling. Call it female intuition." She couldn't but roll her eyes. _Female intuition? Great. _She would have rolled her eyes even if it was true, just for saying it out loud. "But, Jack, it was definitely not someone who had dialed the wrong number," she hurried to give him something more substantial.

"Alright," he seemed to buy at least some of it. "But there are still a thousand other possibilities."

"True." _But? Come on!_ There had to be something she could use. "But…" _Kim called on Jack's cell_, she remembered, not a second too early. "Remember that one time I answered your cell?"

"Nina, we were in my office, I asked you to answer for me, it was completely innocent," he dismissed her point. "We weren't even…seeing each other back then."

True, but she was on to something now. Something she could really use.

"Yeah, I know that, Jack. But do you think Kim saw it that way? It was after you had moved out, and you told me yourself that you thought she's been acting weird lately." True again. He had told her that. Things were starting to fall into place, her plan starting to take more concrete shape. And Jack seemed to start swallowing her bait. She could see him mull over it although he tried to dismiss it a moment later.

"She's a teenager whose parents are separated. I think everybody would act a bit weird in her place."

She knew she had him exactly where she wanted him. He had already started pondering. She didn't have to do much more so she kept quiet, just frowned a bit to show she didn't agree with him.

It seemed to do the trick. Jack was silent for a while, obviously deep in thought.

"Okay, so, let's say Kim is suspicious and wonders if I'm seeing anyone. Just because you answered my cell once she automatically draws the conclusion that it's you?"

She shrugged her shoulders, inwardly heaving a sigh of relief though. She was confident now that things would work out. She had done her part, Jack would do the rest on his own.

"I know it's a long shot, Jack. I just thought you should know that they might know. Or at least have their suspicions." The only thing she had to take care of now was to keep him from asking himself why she had brought this up. Or from asking her. _Just keep him focused on Teri and Kim_, she reminded herself, watching how Jack ran a hand through his hair. A clear sign of despair.

"How would she get your number?" he asked, as if to prove her right. It wasn't a serious question, just a last attempt to find an explanation that wouldn't throw him into another loop of guilt and compunction.

"Oh, come on, it's a regular line. I'm listed," she dismissed it easily. But seeing the sad expression on his face, the pain starting to show in his eyes, she almost found herself overcome by remorse. She knew it was cruel to play him like this, but what choice did she have?

"I just thought you should know," she repeated, if for no other reason than to distract herself. She couldn't let him off the hook now. "I might be completely off here, but she's your daughter, Jack."

He stared at her and she knew she had won. She didn't have to fake the sympathy in her eyes though.

"What should I do?" she heard him mutter, and again she couldn't but feel terrible for doing this to him. But she hadn't brought this on to him. She hadn't made him leave Teri, and she hadn't forced him to get involved with her. In fact, she had been pretty reluctant. At first because she hadn't been sure if she would be able to control this, if it would be worth the risk, and later on because she had started to care for him. More than she should. Much more than she could allow herself to.

"I don't know," she sighed, preparing herself to land the final blow. "Talk to her. Find out what she thinks."

"I'm not going to interrogate my own daughter," he objected, sounding a bit aggravated.

"I didn't mean it that way. I meant find out how she feels about all this. If she's okay. If she's coping." This was it. "Find out what she wants." He lowered his gaze, unable to look into her eyes, and she knew she had successfully planted the seed that would destroy their…whatever it was they had, that would drive him back to his family. "Just talk to her, Jack."

"Yeah," he muttered faintly, and she gave him a few moments to make his conclusions. Despite feeling sorry for him, she couldn't help but notice how ironic it was that she could manipulate him so easily to leave her and go back to Teri and Kim. She would love to believe that she could have accomplished the same if things had been reversed. That she could have made him abandon them and stay with her. But deep down she was sure that would have been beyond her powers.

_It doesn't matter_, she reminded herself. There was no point in tormenting herself like that. Just like there was no point in wondering how things could have been if she hadn't stopped him from telling her what he had wanted to tell her. How things could have been if she could allow herself to let him get this close to her. If she had made different choices in the past, if one of them was someone else. There simply was no point in that.

"So, what did you wanna talk to me about?" she asked, eager now to get this whole conversation over with. She had been right from the beginning after all – there were better things to do than talk.

"What?" Jack asked, trying hard to hide the emotions raging within him from her. If he only knew how well she knew him.

"You wanted to tell me something," she offered, but he just shook his head.

"No, it's…I was just…you wanna go somewhere and have breakfast?"


	6. story 4

**Story # 4**

* * *

He felt her weight being lifted from the bedside as she moved to get up and leave, and it was then that his fifth realization hit him. It was time to face the truth. Or at least, now was as good a time as any. 

Pretending to be just waking up he stirred a little and then slowly opened his eyes to find Teri looking at him. A little worried, a little concerned, a little smiling. Just like he had imagined. After all these years of marriage there wasn't an inch of her face he didn't know, not a single expression he hadn't seen yet. Unfortunately, the look she gave him now had become too much of a companion.

"Good morning," she said, holding the coffee mug with both hands in her lap.

"Is it still morning?" he asked.

"Barely. You slept like a stone."

"Yeah, I was really tired."

"But you're off today, right?"

"Yeah," he smiled weakly.

"Great," she seemed a bit happier at this. "Now, I made you breakfast. Maybe we could go somewhere later. You want to take a shower first?"

"No," he said, sitting up in bed. "Teri. There's something…we need to talk about." He had to tell her. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do about it, but there was no way he could keep it from her. Not if he wanted his marriage to work, and nor if he wanted to be with Nina. Right now he was just confused.

"Okay," she nodded, clearly trying not to seem worried.

He cleared his throat, insecure how to start. _Just say how it is, tell her straight out._ She wouldn't like it, not at all, and maybe she would kick him out again right away. And maybe that was just what he wanted. The least it would do was to take the burden of decision-making off his shoulders. But that wasn't who he was, was it? _Just tell her_, he barked at himself. _She deserves to know the truth in any way. _

"After you…" he started but corrected himself quickly. "When I had moved out - I…I was seeing someone."

She was hurt. It was obvious in her face as she just kept looking at him. But if he had expected her to be shocked he had clearly been mistaken. He didn't know how to go on.

"I can't say that surprises me," she sighed after a while. "I was afraid something like that was going to happen."

He swallowed.

"I was hoping it wouldn't," she added quickly, "but yeah, I knew it could happen."

_Then why did you kick me out? _he couldn't help but think.

"I'm so sorry, Teri. I never wanted any of this to happen."

"Me neither, Jack. It wasn't what I imagined when I married you or when we had Kim." She sighed, looking around the room while talking, her gaze brushing over photographs and pictures, neatly arranged on the nightstand and the commode. "I knew we were going to run into trouble eventually, every couple does. But I would never have thought it would come this far."

Neither had he. And he was surprised to see her smile the next moment when her eyes returned to him.

"But we pulled through, Jack. I mean, we're still here. Or again. We made it."

His heart felt heavier in his chest and he couldn't bear her smiling at him. Not with the thought of Nina on his mind and what he had to confess to Teri. That she wasn't just someone he had been seeing for a while. He had thought so long enough, but now the truth had caught up with him. And if he wanted to find out what to do about it, if he wanted to sort this whole mess out, he had to talk to both of them. Starting with Teri seemed only fair.

"Look, Teri," he struggled for the strength and the right words. "This person I was seeing…she…"

"Jack," she cut him off, shaking her head at him. "It's okay. I mean, I'm not thrilled about it, but I also realize that I was the one who asked you to leave. And whatever you did during that time – it doesn't matter now. It's in the past. The only thing that matters is what we do now, from this point on."

He stared at her. _No…I mean, wait… _He wanted to interrupt her, to tell her she was getting it all wrong, that it wasn't that simple. But he couldn't bring himself to say anything, his voice suddenly failing him completely.

"We're a family again now." Her smile widened with every word. "I can't tell you how miserable I was when you were gone, how many times I wanted to pick up the phone and ask you to come back."

_Then why didn't you?_ Why hadn't she – before he had discovered his feelings for Nina.

"Or how happy I am now that you are." She lowered her eyes, staring at the coffee she was still clasping in her lap. "I know there's still a lot of stuff we need to deal with. Things I need to accept, things you need to reconsider. But, Jack, I know we can do it. I know it will work out. Because I won't let anything come between us again. I won't let anything split up this family again."

It felt like someone had tossed a sling around his chest and was pulling at the ends of the rope now, with such force it threatened to suffocate him. She seemed so happy.

"Kim's happy too," Teri smirked. "She sure has her own way of showing it but I know she is. She missed you, Jack."

He blinked, reliving the moment he had walked in with his bag over his shoulder. _You're back! _Kim really had been happy although she had quickly wiped the joy off her face and pretended she didn't care that much.

"Just like I missed you."

He stared down into his lap.

"Didn't you miss us too?"

Of course he had. How could he not have missed them. And he would have given anything to hear those words from Teri in the first few weeks, to have her ask him to come back. But then… He still couldn't really put his finger on when or how things had changed so quickly. He had been working with Nina for years, had seen her on a daily basis, found comfort in her company, confided in her regarding most things - but never in the way he did now. It was as if he one day had just met her again but at the same time for the very first time.

"Of course I did," he said, not daring to look up yet though. "Of course I missed you."

_Nina. _When he had met Teri for the first time, all those years ago, back when they were still so young, he had instantly felt that she was right for him. That they were somehow completing each other. And he had never expected to feel that way for anyone else. But what he felt for Nina – it was different, sure, but it wasn't less intense. It wasn't less real.

"Then what is it?" Teri asked, tilting her head and looking at him questioningly.

_What is it? _He sighed inwardly. _It's not meant to be. _He guessed it was just not meant to be. Teri was right. They were a family. They had made a commitment, he had made a commitment. He couldn't just squirm himself out of it now. Not with Kim being there, not with Teri obviously so happy about all of them being together again. He couldn't. And it would pass. His feelings for Nina would pass.

"It's…" he stammered, blinking once more, blinking the thought of Nina away. "I'm just not good at this."

She smiled.

"I'm happy too," he declared. "And you're right – it will work out. We will make it work."


	7. story 4 2

**Story # 4.2**

* * *

Thinking it was okay to let him sleep a little longer, Teri moved to get up and leave. But feeling him stir behind her she quickly turned back around to see him slowly opening his eyes.

She couldn't help but worry. He looked less exhausted than he had the last couple of days, but even now, even in his sleep he didn't seem completely relaxed. As if something was bothering him even now.

"Good morning," she said, trying to shake the worry off. _Better not to let him see it._

"Is it still morning," he answered with a question.

"Barely. You slept like a stone."

She had heard him come in, late, again, very late. But his footsteps in the hallway had told her how exhausted he had been so she had pretended to be asleep and he had silently gotten changed and crawled into bed next to her, clearly asleep only seconds later.

"Yeah, I was really tired," he said as if to confirm her thoughts.

"But you're off today, right?" she asked before reminding herself not to bring the subject of his work up now. It was still somewhat of a sore spot.

"Yeah."

She smothered a relieved sigh but couldn't help the smile forming on her face.

"Great. Now, I made you breakfast. Maybe we could go somewhere later," she announced. She had spent some time this morning to think of places they could go and stuff they could do together. Finally they would do things together again. "You want to take a shower first?" she asked absentmindedly, about to make her way to the kitchen.

"No," he said, and she could tell by the tone of his voice that there was something on his mind. "Teri. There's something…we need to talk about."

_Don't you dare telling me now you got to go away for work again_, she thought, again doing her best though not to let her fears show on her face. "Okay." She had always hated it when he had to leave, sometimes for days, sometimes weeks. She knew it would happen again sooner or later but she wasn't sure if she could deal with it just now.

"After you…," he started and it wasn't hard to figure out what he had meant to say although he didn't finish the sentence. _After I asked you to move out_, she thought guilt-stricken. There had been moments when she hadn't been able to believe she had really done it. But now, in retrospective, it had been the right decision. Things would never have changed otherwise. Or even worse – they would have changed, but without the happy end they had now.

"When I had moved out," he started over again, "I…I was seeing someone."

And just like that the comforting thought of having made the right decision was gone. _Why did I ever let him go? Why did I make him go? _She knew this had been likely to happen, had known it all along. _Look at him – he's not the man to stay alone. _She had seen the looks on other women's faces.

"I can't say that surprises me," she sighed, glad her voice wasn't failing her. "I was afraid something like that was going to happen. I was hoping it wouldn't but, yeah, I knew it could happen."

"I'm so sorry, Teri. I never wanted any of this to happen," he almost whispered, and she could hear he really was. She struggled for a second. The thought of him being with someone else – it was too much but she could hardly blame him now, could she?

"Me neither, Jack," she sighed instead. They would get over this as well. Given time, she would get over this as well. "It wasn't what I imagined when I married you or when we had Kim." Her gaze strayed to the photographs as her mind traveled back to her wedding day and then the day in the hospital, the first time she had held Kimberly in her arms, her daughter, so little and so beautiful. Jack had been sitting by her side, his eyes beaming with joy as well. "I knew we were going to run into trouble eventually, every couple does. But I would never have thought it would come this far." She really hadn't. _But that's over now. _She smiled.

"But we pulled through, Jack. I mean, we're still here. Or again. We made it."They had hit bottom but they hadn't drowned.

"Look, Teri," Jack found his speech back. "This person I was seeing…she…"

_I don't want to know!_ was all she could think. _I really don't want to know. _It was hard enough as things were.

"Jack," she quickly cut him off, "it's okay. I mean, I'm not thrilled about it, but I also realize that I was the one who asked you to leave. And whatever you did during that time – it doesn't matter now. It's in the past. The only thing that matters is what we do now, from this point on." She wished she was as sure and as confident as she sounded, but she could only hope she would be over time. For now, the best she could to was to ignore it. She didn't want to know. "We're a family again now," she smiled reassuringly, to him and to herself. "I can't tell you how miserable I was when you were gone, how many times I wanted to pick up the phone and ask you to come back." One day it had been so bad she had hidden the phone. "Or how happy I am now that you are." She looked at the cup of coffee she was still holding in her hands – she was holding on to in her lap, just like she was holding on to her love for Jack. Because it was the only thing that she was sure of, that she had always been sure of. Even when she had asked him to move, when she had sent him away, she had never stopped loving him. And when he had been gone – the house had suddenly seemed so big, her life suddenly so empty. Nothing had been sure anymore, nothing had felt safe anymore. She had felt like she was just drifting around, without a destination, without a purpose. Kim had been there, of course, but since her daughter was blaming her for Jack leaving she hadn't been much of a comfort.

"I know there's still a lot of stuff we need to deal with," she admitted, looking up again. "Things I need to accept, things you need to reconsider." And it wouldn't get any easier, there were still the same problems they had been facing when they had separated. Or they hadn't been facing really. They had avoided them by separating. "But, Jack, I know we can do it." They had to. "I know it will work out." It had to. "Because I won't let anything come between us again." She couldn't lose him again. "I won't let anything split up this family again." She couldn't lose the one thing that gave her life stability and meaning.

He didn't say anything. Just stared at her, looking so… _Guilty? Sad? _Why was he sad? She could understand the guilt-part and she promised herself right that moment to free him of it as soon as she was up to it, but why the sadness?

"Kim's happy too," she kept talking, emphasizing the 'happy' as if to remind him that he was supposed to be too. "She sure has her own way of showing it but I know she is. She missed you, Jack."

She saw him blink and wondered what was going through his mind. She couldn't really read the expression on his face. She had always been able to read him, hadn't she? She knew there were a lot of things he didn't talk about, couldn't, but at least she had always been able to tell what they did to him, how they made him feel, even when she didn't understand how or why.

"Just like I missed you," she added, suddenly almost panicking because he still hadn't responded in any way. But she didn't let it show. She couldn't. Why she didn't know. It felt strange, though, as if she was acting. When had she started to act around Jack?

"Didn't you miss us too?" she couldn't stop herself from asking any longer then. She needed an answer now. Reassurance. Something. She knew she seemed calm and all happy on the outside, though she didn't know why she was suddenly so good at hiding her true feelings.

"Of course I did," she finally heard him say. "Of course I missed you."

Relief. At first. But why wasn't he looking at her? If he had missed them too, if everything was fine, then why couldn't he look at her?

"Then what is it?"

"It's…" he stammered, and she saw him blink once more, as if he was snapping out of something or waking up for a second time. "I'm just not good at this," he mumbled.

And she smiled. _I'm just not good at this. Of course you're not good at this, Jack. _Talking about his feelings had never been his strongest side. That was all. That was why she had worried so much? _Silly. _

"I'm happy too," he said, his blue eyes looking at her. "And you're right – it will work out." And something, not so much what he was saying, but something in his voice, something in his gaze, there was just something about him that always made her feel secure. God, she had missed him so much. "We will make it work."


	8. story 5

**Story # 5**

* * *

He felt her weight being lifted from the bedside as she moved to get up and leave, and it was then that his fifth realization hit him. It was time to face the truth. Or at least, now was as good a time as any.

"Nina."

She turned back around.

"Hey," she smiled, leaning in for a kiss. "I was wondering if you were going to wake up before it gets dark again."

"Sorry," he mumbled, reaching for her hand and interlacing his fingers with hers.

She dismissed the apology silently and then watched their hands for a moment before looking up again.

"I know you don't want me to go on about it as well but you really are working too much right now."

He sighed at the familiarity of her statement. "I know." He had never denied it. But the fact that even Nina seemed concerned now should probably tell him something, shouldn't it? After all, her tolerance concerning his work was naturally a lot higher than Teri's ever had been. "I know it's been a lot of extra hours and shifts lately, for both of us. And I've been thinking - maybe we could take a week off and go some place…just the two of us."

"Right," she sneered.

"What?"

A frown blended into her smile. "Are you sure you're awake?" But he just gave her a questioning look. "Come on, Jack, we can't both take time off at the same time. Besides giving people a really good reason to start talking – I'm your second in command. I'm supposed to be there and run the office when you're not."

"Then maybe I'll just have to promote Tony," he grinned.

"Don't you dare," she played along.

"Only on a temporarily basis, of course. You get reinstated as soon as we're back."

She smiled but shook her head then. "It would be nice."

"Yeah," he nodded. "So let's do it."

More shaking of the head. "Are you serious?" she frowned.

_No. Yes. _He wanted to be.

"Maybe not about Tony," he conceded, "but about the getting away part – yes."

"Well, you can't always get what you want, Jack."

"Says who?" he countered, and she shot him an incredulous look.

"Are you telling me you don't care anymore if people know about us?"

"No."

"No what? No, you don't care or no you're not telling me," she inquired.

"I…" he started, but cut himself off to start over again, sitting up in bed now. "There's something I need to tell you."

She leaned back a little as well, repositioning herself, waiting for him to continue.

"Teri called and asked to see me. I went over there yesterday."

He saw realization appearing on her face, and she cast her eyes round the room. "I know."

"What?" He had no idea she knew about it. "How?"

She looked at him again, sighing heavily.

"Teri called at work after you'd left. She wanted to know if you were on your way."

He nodded. "I'm sorry." He had told her he was heading over to Division.

"It's okay," Nina assured dismissive. "What did she want?"

He looked at her and…was it hurt he saw in her eyes? Disappointment? It certainly wasn't curiosity. She seemed sure to know what he was about to reveal to her. Something within him felt like it was about to break.

"She asked me to move back in," he said, noticing he hadn't said moving back home.

"Can't say that comes as a surprise," Nina shrugged. "It was a matter of time."

_Was it? _There had been a time when he had wished to be that confident.

"So – what did you tell her?"

He swallowed. "That I needed time to think about it."

She nodded pensively, staring at their hands once more, then withdrawing her own.

"Look, Jack, it's okay. I understand…"

"No," he cut her off. "No, I don't think you do." He reached out to reclaim her hand. "I meant what I said. I really want us to go somewhere, to spend some time just the two of us, away from work, away from everything…"

"Yeah, Jack…" she interrupted, "it's not like I don't believe you. And it's not like I wouldn't want that too." She eyed him intensely. "But no matter where we go, it won't change anything. It will all still be there when we get back," she argued. "Work, Teri, you being married…" She sighed and once again shook her head. "We both know you'll eventually go back to your family. And no matter how you feel about me right now or how I feel about you – I can't do it. It sounds nice, being together one last time, but I can't." Sounding so sad now. "I'm sorry but I can't."

He closed his eyes for a moment, unable to bear the look on her face. This was not how he had imagined this conversation. This was not what he had planned. _Planned? _Okay, he hadn't exactly planned anything but... Why were things so messed up?

"Nina…"

"No, Jack…"

"Nina, just stop talking for a second," he cut her off. "Stop talking and listen to me."

She rolled her eyes but kept quiet, and he let go of her hand, reaching for her face instead to make her look at him again.

"I'm trying to tell you that I want to be with you. And not with Teri." He observed the expression in her eyes as she seemed to hold her breath. "I love my family and I would do anything for them. But I also realize that it won't help anyone if I move back in with them. It would just be the same all over again. It won't help Teri or Kim and it certainly won't help me." Slowly, slowly the sadness faded from her features as his words began to sink in. "Maybe we can't always get what we want but I think I deserve to at least try. And I want you."

He couldn't believe that she was actually speechless but her silence proved she really was. She seemed overwhelmed by a range of emotions, her face showing them all at the same time. Relief, joy, shock, surprise, embarrassment…

"So, if you would stop trying to talk me out of it," he remarked mockingly but didn't get to finish the sentence as she leaned forward to kiss him.

"Is that a yes on the going away?" he asked when she was resting against his chest. "We could just take a weekend. How do you feel about Santa Barbara?" he grinned.


End file.
